It's the elephant in the room,
and we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads,
and we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect,
tryin' not to let you down... oh.
Honesty is honestly,

the hardest thing for me right now... yeah.

While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling,
the walls we built together tumblin'.
I still stand here holdin' up the roof,
'cause it's easier than telling the truth.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning,
and let the rain come in.
Stop pretending that it's not ending,
and let the end begin.

M.O.D.A

Went to the M.O.D.A. Fashion Show at Pavilion on Tuesday with my college mates. Not much that I can say but... it was nothing but AWESOME. Love most of the designers' creations. And yes of course with good friends around, it made the trip an awesome one as well. We did took quite a couple of pictures. Good memories. :)

Carmen, me and Doris.

The tallest in class, Amy J. She's awesome, definitely.

The humourous Bruce and pretty Milky. :)

Janet's on the left, Phuna in yellow shirt and Bruce.

This will be my good buddies. Bruce in purple, Phuna in yellow, Mushie a.k.a. Marika in white, handsome Doris and Joy the cutie.

Ahh, this is my another pretty girl in our class, Shirley.

Oh... this. How should I introduce? Might as well call it the CFD1. Cha Ceai on the left, Chloe Cai Qin and my awesome queen Carmen.

Well, just look at Joy. Is she "handsome" or "cute"? I'd say, both. :D


This is NOT all in our class. Great friends makes great occasions. Starting from left will be Marika, Denise, Milky, Shirley, Bruce, Doris, Michelle, Alex (me, of course), Rino, Joy, Amy J., Janet and Phuna.

So much happenings recently. Both happiness and disappointment. And I'm not letting myself down.

It's been such a long time now since I last blog. Wasn't really free back then, and won't be free in the coming months as well. SCREW ME. Assignments, shootings and things are starting to build up really fast.

Sometimes I feel like giving up myself. Feel like there's no meaning to all these shit. And why am I here doing complains anyway? NO. I still have tons of unsettle matters to deal with. I can't just let things go unanswered. I still have people that I haven't fuck them up. I still have things to do that will make my parents proud, especially my lovely grandma.

Though we never talk much but, you are still my grandma. All I know is that your used-to-be-delicious home-cooked food is not that tasty anymore; washroom is not that clean as before; dust are starting to leave marks on the floor, since you can't clean them very well now.

I don't know whether how long my grandma can hold on. And I do know soon that she will not longer be here with us. I have to admit now that I actually feel afraid that this day will come. Well, time flies isn't it? There's nothing like, forever ever written. I'm not quite the emotional kind of guy, but in truth I don't want you to leave me.

I'm not Buddha, yet I'm not Jesus. I can't control your time to be picked up. I know I can't help, but hopefully I have the courage and strength to face that day.

你已经好久没有打电话给我，
甚至没有发短信给我，
我们，就这样了吧。

不再为你心动了。

距离拉长了思念，却阻隔了见面。
让你离我好远好远。

眼看着身边的人一个一个都有了轰轰烈烈，
我想，是该放下你了。

不要说我不甘寂寞，因为我已经寂寞了好久。
不要说我用情不专，因为你从来不属于我。
也不要说我轻言放弃，你甚至一个微小的回应都没给我.
那是因为爱，因为委屈，因为心痛…

不再留着你的短信不舍得删掉了。
不再一遍一遍的回看我们的聊天记录了。
不再眼巴巴的盯着手机期望你的电话了。
不再到处跟别人打听你的消息了。
不再向好友倾诉自己的心酸了。
因为倾诉过一次，已经代表，我决定放下你了。

你拨动了我的心弦，却不曾为我驻足。
当我以为你还在的时候，你已没有踪影。
当你回头找寻我的时候，我已开始寻找自己的天空。
亲爱的，我把最美好最美好的年华留给了你。

我，于你无愧。

亲爱的，我的青春有限，承担不起一生一世的等待。
亲爱的，让我骄傲一次，这次，是我不要你了。
我爱你的时候是真的爱你，我不爱你的时候是真的不爱你了。

等待不苦，苦的是，没有希望的等待。

如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由，那我宁愿回到自己一个人生。

我爱你，但，那只是曾经。

Love feels lost,
where is it to be found?

My heart is still here.
We have to go around and around.

In all the time,
I was loving you faithfully.
And you took my love,
And you turn around on me.

Now I don't wanna fight with you,
I got everything I can do.
Don't you leave me like that, I just want my girl back.
Let me work it out for it is over.

It's hard to let go.
Girl we went through so many things.
But for you to grow, have to go and spread your wings.
I see your tear, you searching for a pride of day.
You should have hold it through,
when you gave my love away.

Now I don't wanna fight with you,
I got everything I can do.
Had to leave it like that, but my thought I'mma back.
We tried to work it out,
but it's over.

What are we doing?
What can we see to work it out?
What are we doing?
Can we forget what love was about?
Feels like I'm losing, when it was everything to me.
And now I realize,
we're just better not together.

Girl, it's just too much for me to say,
you were to tell me that you love me.
And then to watch you walk away.
But girl the way you fight,
it's just the way.
That's way it's better this way.
No, what else to say?

Alright, I had enough! After all these while, I have finally realized that sometimes in life, being a nice guy, I mean like, "too nice" guy is bad. There's certain people that they know you are treating them really good, they'll start to take advantage of you. Only by then, you can't help it but to assist them in whatever way you think could be useful to them 'cause you've already get used to it.

I know it now. I really do. This is the third time I got played. THIS SHIT ENDS NOW. UPSET on these people who doesn't appreciate you for what you've done for them. I'm not saying that being helpful is bad. IT IS a good thing. But those who are helped SHOULD know that they would not overdo people who are helping them. FUCK IT.

That's it. There are times back then when I thought I would be happy with you. IT'S CLEAR NOW. I will not give a damn anymore because I DON'T WANT TO. It hurts. SCREW ME? FUCK YOU.

Man, so much happenings in these while. This just sucks. But SHIT. Gotta stand up and walk again. I ain't gonna give up that easily. NO WAY. Projects, assignments, events and shits. Stand aside yo! XD