So much happenings recently. Both happiness and disappointment. And I'm not letting myself down.

It's been such a long time now since I last blog. Wasn't really free back then, and won't be free in the coming months as well. SCREW ME. Assignments, shootings and things are starting to build up really fast.

Sometimes I feel like giving up myself. Feel like there's no meaning to all these shit. And why am I here doing complains anyway? NO. I still have tons of unsettle matters to deal with. I can't just let things go unanswered. I still have people that I haven't fuck them up. I still have things to do that will make my parents proud, especially my lovely grandma.

Though we never talk much but, you are still my grandma. All I know is that your used-to-be-delicious home-cooked food is not that tasty anymore; washroom is not that clean as before; dust are starting to leave marks on the floor, since you can't clean them very well now.

I don't know whether how long my grandma can hold on. And I do know soon that she will not longer be here with us. I have to admit now that I actually feel afraid that this day will come. Well, time flies isn't it? There's nothing like, forever ever written. I'm not quite the emotional kind of guy, but in truth I don't want you to leave me.

I'm not Buddha, yet I'm not Jesus. I can't control your time to be picked up. I know I can't help, but hopefully I have the courage and strength to face that day.