On the flight now. And thanks to Jesse for burrowing me your laptop. I love such silence.
Everyone here is sleeping, including this dumb pig Jesse whom is beside me. But I'm not. Actually, I'm already awake from 12am+ until now. The clock's ticking, now is 4:10am and I'm still here, I can't sleep at all. I'm still having thoughts and memories of her, and there's a hard-to-tell feeling inside of me.
I wanted to sleep. I wanted to stop thinking about her, just for now. I wanted to get away from all these memories, just for now. They are haunting me every moment. But I can't seem to make them go away. And they just won't go away. How is that possible? What is actually wrong with my heart?
Here, I sit in darkness with the window on the right side overlooking the beautiful beyond-the-sky view. It's so amazing. It's so beautiful. But, this feeling is not amazing. It's not beautiful at all. How I keep on tellin' myself, why you are so hard to forget? Why you are always on my mind, no matter where am I, what am I doing?
Is this the so-called "Love Drunk"? Or is it that I'm just a little bit too not over you? I don't know, and at the same time I don't wish to know. Because I don't want to. I know you said that it's already over, but why is it in deep inside of me that I still do not want to give up on you? Tell me why, anybody? What is happening to me?
Why do I always pretend that I'm fine when you're around? Why do I always act like I'm just being my cool self when you're around? Why am I always forcing myself to act and pretend that I'm totally alright without you by my side when you're near? In truth, why am I even doing all these to show you? What all these has got to prove?
Why am I being cold to you when I'm not? Why am I being rude to you when I want to be polite with you? Why am I being my cool self when I'm with you? Do love always feel like a battlefield? Why is this even happening? Am I just being too blind that I bind my eyes to not see the truth of things? I know this is not gonna work but why am I still having high hopes?
Tell me why, I can't seem to get you out of my head? It's not going to work out for both of us anymore, and just why the heck I'm still praying and wishing for the opposite? Am I being stupid and blind? I can't seem to get over this, even though I said I can. Why am I even forcing and bluffing my ownself for things that I said I can do it, though I know I can't and I won't?
In truth, I don't want all these to just fade away. I don't want all these to go away. I don't want them to dissapear from my sight. I don't want to just leave me. I want them to stay, I want them to be with me. But how? It hurts me inside so strong whenever I think of them, and I've asked God is it wrong to do so? Why is this even hurting so bad?
I know this is over, it's over for us. But I can't let go, even though I said I'm fine with every decision that you've made. And now, I can't do it. I'm not that strong as you think. I'm not that positive as you think. I'm not that alright as you think. I'm not that "I can let it go easily" as you think. In truth, I'm totally NOT OKAY.
What is love, actually? Love is what? Yes, I totally agreed with you. Yes, love is a strange and funny thing. I admit it is. And I'd say, love is just like a cup of coffee. Coffee, it smells so damn good before drinking it. After you consumed them, you wanted to have more and more until you're satisfied. Once you ran out of coffee, you'll keep on having thoughts of having another cup of the same old damn coffee because you've already addicted to it.
I'd say, that this cup of coffee is just like you. I fell in love when I first saw you. I could'nt tell if this is really the "like" or the "love" but after I've got you, I wanted to have even more time with you. I don't want this to end, just like I don't want to finish my cup of coffee. Now that you're gone without a trace, I'm still sitting at the same old spot mesmerizing all the memories. Because I'm addicted. I'm addicted to you.
But, should I? Should I wait any more? I don't know. Yeah, it's already over and you've been saying that for so long but I can't do it. I can't get you out of my mind. What is wrong with me? Love drunk? Obsessed? Glue to you forever and ever? Babe, I'm not that strong as you might think I am. You are my second, and how come my heart can't take it anymore? Why is that so? I've been thinking for so long, and I can't seem to have the answers ready for me to tell.
It's been a sleepless night for me, but that's okay. I'm doing this, just for you. If you could feel me inside of you right here right now, how I wish that you'll be alright without me. And I know, you'll be fine without me. How much I'm missing you now, only God knows. Though I'm far away from you right now, know that my heart is always with you. Like it or not, I don't care. Because it's useless to tell you all these now. It's already over but can I forget about you?
Should be strong and I should be moving on, but I didn't think it'll be this hard to not think of you all the time. It's like, I have you in me all the time and you live in my mind now. You've became a permanent resident inside my heart. Why am I having this kind of feelings? Hell, how I wish I could get a perfect solution for this. If only you could feel me, I'll be more than happy.
Few moments more and I'll reach my desire destination. Promise me that you'll take good care of yourself. I know I can't concern you anymore than being like last time. We were always texting each other to see how things goes, but not anymore. I can't do that no more. What I only hope that you are okay. It's very cold here, and I bet it's even colder when I reach. But I'll always be warm when you are inside of me.
I've became weak and I just don't know how to face you from now on. I just don't know why. Things will never ever work out the same again, after what had happened. Take care, stay safe.
Everyone here is sleeping, including this dumb pig Jesse whom is beside me. But I'm not. Actually, I'm already awake from 12am+ until now. The clock's ticking, now is 4:10am and I'm still here, I can't sleep at all. I'm still having thoughts and memories of her, and there's a hard-to-tell feeling inside of me.
I wanted to sleep. I wanted to stop thinking about her, just for now. I wanted to get away from all these memories, just for now. They are haunting me every moment. But I can't seem to make them go away. And they just won't go away. How is that possible? What is actually wrong with my heart?
Here, I sit in darkness with the window on the right side overlooking the beautiful beyond-the-sky view. It's so amazing. It's so beautiful. But, this feeling is not amazing. It's not beautiful at all. How I keep on tellin' myself, why you are so hard to forget? Why you are always on my mind, no matter where am I, what am I doing?
Is this the so-called "Love Drunk"? Or is it that I'm just a little bit too not over you? I don't know, and at the same time I don't wish to know. Because I don't want to. I know you said that it's already over, but why is it in deep inside of me that I still do not want to give up on you? Tell me why, anybody? What is happening to me?
Why do I always pretend that I'm fine when you're around? Why do I always act like I'm just being my cool self when you're around? Why am I always forcing myself to act and pretend that I'm totally alright without you by my side when you're near? In truth, why am I even doing all these to show you? What all these has got to prove?
Why am I being cold to you when I'm not? Why am I being rude to you when I want to be polite with you? Why am I being my cool self when I'm with you? Do love always feel like a battlefield? Why is this even happening? Am I just being too blind that I bind my eyes to not see the truth of things? I know this is not gonna work but why am I still having high hopes?
Tell me why, I can't seem to get you out of my head? It's not going to work out for both of us anymore, and just why the heck I'm still praying and wishing for the opposite? Am I being stupid and blind? I can't seem to get over this, even though I said I can. Why am I even forcing and bluffing my ownself for things that I said I can do it, though I know I can't and I won't?
In truth, I don't want all these to just fade away. I don't want all these to go away. I don't want them to dissapear from my sight. I don't want to just leave me. I want them to stay, I want them to be with me. But how? It hurts me inside so strong whenever I think of them, and I've asked God is it wrong to do so? Why is this even hurting so bad?
I know this is over, it's over for us. But I can't let go, even though I said I'm fine with every decision that you've made. And now, I can't do it. I'm not that strong as you think. I'm not that positive as you think. I'm not that alright as you think. I'm not that "I can let it go easily" as you think. In truth, I'm totally NOT OKAY.
What is love, actually? Love is what? Yes, I totally agreed with you. Yes, love is a strange and funny thing. I admit it is. And I'd say, love is just like a cup of coffee. Coffee, it smells so damn good before drinking it. After you consumed them, you wanted to have more and more until you're satisfied. Once you ran out of coffee, you'll keep on having thoughts of having another cup of the same old damn coffee because you've already addicted to it.
I'd say, that this cup of coffee is just like you. I fell in love when I first saw you. I could'nt tell if this is really the "like" or the "love" but after I've got you, I wanted to have even more time with you. I don't want this to end, just like I don't want to finish my cup of coffee. Now that you're gone without a trace, I'm still sitting at the same old spot mesmerizing all the memories. Because I'm addicted. I'm addicted to you.
But, should I? Should I wait any more? I don't know. Yeah, it's already over and you've been saying that for so long but I can't do it. I can't get you out of my mind. What is wrong with me? Love drunk? Obsessed? Glue to you forever and ever? Babe, I'm not that strong as you might think I am. You are my second, and how come my heart can't take it anymore? Why is that so? I've been thinking for so long, and I can't seem to have the answers ready for me to tell.
It's been a sleepless night for me, but that's okay. I'm doing this, just for you. If you could feel me inside of you right here right now, how I wish that you'll be alright without me. And I know, you'll be fine without me. How much I'm missing you now, only God knows. Though I'm far away from you right now, know that my heart is always with you. Like it or not, I don't care. Because it's useless to tell you all these now. It's already over but can I forget about you?
Should be strong and I should be moving on, but I didn't think it'll be this hard to not think of you all the time. It's like, I have you in me all the time and you live in my mind now. You've became a permanent resident inside my heart. Why am I having this kind of feelings? Hell, how I wish I could get a perfect solution for this. If only you could feel me, I'll be more than happy.
Few moments more and I'll reach my desire destination. Promise me that you'll take good care of yourself. I know I can't concern you anymore than being like last time. We were always texting each other to see how things goes, but not anymore. I can't do that no more. What I only hope that you are okay. It's very cold here, and I bet it's even colder when I reach. But I'll always be warm when you are inside of me.
I've became weak and I just don't know how to face you from now on. I just don't know why. Things will never ever work out the same again, after what had happened. Take care, stay safe.
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