Saturday, September 26, 2009

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs & Semper Fi, E.

Top down in the summer sun,
the day we met was like a hit and run.
And I still taste it on my tougue.

The sky was burning up like fireworks,
You made me want you so badly.
But girl, in case you haven't heard.

I used to be love drunk,
but now I'm hungover.

I love you forever,
forever is over.

We used to text all night,
now it's just a cold war.

So don't call me crying,
say hello then goodbye.

Hot sweat and blurry eyes,
we're spinning on a college schedule ride.
The world stucked in black and white.

You droved me crazy every time we touched,
now I'm so broken I can't get up.
Oh girl, you made me such a lush.

All the time I spent on you,
all the bullshit you put me through.
I'm checking into rehab 'cause everything that we had,
didn't mean a thing to you.

I never thought that I was so blind, now I can finally see the truth. I admit I do now. It was a lie. It was the greatest joke ever to be with you. I guess you're right all the time. It was merely a love game after all. Yeah, part time boy as you said? Ha, I never thought that it could actually end in this way. Cool, it's really out of my expectations.

You told me that "How could I survive when you said goodbye... we used to be so fine when you walked into my life... I tried to reach out for you, just to be with you... don't go away..." but you were not.

You told me that "Funny face that makes me love you and miss you so much!" but you were not.

You told me that "I don't want to face this world alone without you by my side." but you were not.

You told me that "I wish I could be with you now." but you were not.

You told me that "You loved me so much that I actually remember the day we had our one month relationship anniversary." but you were not.

You told me that "You want me to be with you now so that you can give me a warm hug." but you were not.

You told me that "I love you. No matter what other people say and think, I only love you." but you were not.

You told me that "Not to cry because I love you." but you were not.

You told me that "Still, I want to love you. Time will prove my strength and faith of loving you, and this is my decision." but you were not.

You told me that "How come that road is so short... loved the feel that how I hold your hands... happy and joyful." but you were not.

You told me that "No matter how or what I've become, you want to love me." but you were not.

You told me that "I'll always stick to you to make you feel happy." but you were not.

You told me that "I'm not going to give up on us." but you were not.

You told me that "Because God knows that I love you so much." but you were not.

You told me that "I'm more important than you." but you were not.

You told me that "I want to listen to your voice." but you were not.

You told me that "Give ourselves a chance and a revival... I'm so in love with you... I have people who even said we could make a cute couple... I want you so much... I love you so much, even more than anything else... I can't afford to lose you..." but you were not.

You told me that "Only by being with me you will feel safe." but you were not.

You told me that "You are my only one, babe." but you were not.

You told me that "You would get five thousands spins on Wheel Of Faith to exchange for the rest of your life to fall in love with me forever and ever." but you were not.

You told me that "To be able to spin on Wheel Of Faith, I'll have to go to Hell. Though it sounds scary, but no matter how risky it's gonna be I'm still going. Because only by then I can continue to become human again and be with me." but you were not.

You told me that "If tomorrow's gonna dissapear, wish that I'm still loving you and remembering the feel that you hugged me deep inside you. Never ever release, be there always to protect me. I'm lucky to be myself, lucky that I'm being loved, lucky that I'm loved by you. I will cry no more, becuase I believe we'd be in love with our hands held high, nothing's gonna stop us and our love will prove the greatest in both of our entire lives." but you were not.

You told me that "You miss me so much... you love me so much." but you were not.

Say no more. I've made dozens and dozens of mistakes, and you were just a little. And yet, it's too late for me to take all that back now. It's just too late to apologize, forgive and forget for all the things that I've done. The time that we had, that we spent. I will cherish. I will mesmerize. I will remember. But only from a distance and without you even knowing it. I could'nt and will not find the right words to say, yet at the same time it's not going to happen to you too.

Ha~ indeed, love is a very strange yet funny stuff. Why am I still sobbing over my bed, thinking of all the great times that we had when I'm just a little too not over you and that now it is already over for so damn long? The pain is suffocating that I could hardly breathe, but thank God I'm still having my strong faith and confidence in You. Only with You in my heart, I'll always be able to pick myself up with that unbeatable strength to stand again.

Everyday wake up to the same old memories. Hmm, aren't memories supposed to fade? Just what is wrong with my heart? To be honest, I can't keep on feeling the way I do. I can't keep on hiding my heart from you. I can't keep on loving you from a distance.

You're always on my mind. There's no room left for thinking. The doors are closing and I'm frozen. I've grown tired of waiting 'cause I'm running out of time and I feel this ship is sinking. This is slowly fading away.

Oh and by the way. Good luck with your new guy Bboy ds. Wish the both of you all the best. He looks kinda cute and cool, though. Good for you then.

Now, it's officially over.

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